I Am A Dream Boy.

Yes, that’s right. I always had a feeling growing up, but now it’s true. If you’re an early subscriber, you might have suspected it. If you’re new, check out my piece ‘Days of the Week’ now on Dream Boy Book Club: Series 9, guest edited by Kitty Saint-Remy, poet-neuroscientist-and-all-round-icon, with chief Dream Boy and English professor, Jonathan Blake Fostar, at the helm. He’s just released a new book by Emma New-Holden, cutiepatootie and resident Substacker of ‘my vape is dying’ (we’ve all been there). Pre-order it here.

What a sexy cover. I wish I had a cover like that. But first I need a book. What could it be about? Maybe more poetry. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I Am A Dream Boy. Bet you wish you were too.

And of course, with that announcement, some music. I mean, I’ve got this Apple Podcast thing set up, might as well use it you know. It’s inadvertently become an ad for Proton Mail, but that’s ok. I like the guys. They’re a privacy-focused email service based out of Switzerland, built by people from CERN. Yes, home of the Large Hadron Collider, and the place where the internet was born. It’s like having your email handled by this guy.

Proton Mail comes with a whole host of tools that I find really useful. If I could, I’d upgrade for a custom domain. But I can’t, so for now you’re going to have to just proton.me. I mean, don’t. Don’t proton.me. But for now, do. Until I upgrade to a custom domain. You can help. Join the cause.

In this *THREE TRACK HAIKU* we have Danny L. Harle, together with… Caroline Polachek. Again. Yes. They collaborated twice in a span of just five months (so soon?). Careful now, Danny. Some might call that a… CoCoCrush. Trust me, I would know. The last time I met a girl twice she… never mind.

That’s it for Episode 8 of sancho*FM. Stay sexy.

*THREE TRACK HAIKU*

…just in time for Christmas. Like all good things, we come full circle with Caroline Polachek on Azimuth by Danny L. Harle. In keeping with the theme, this year’s Christmas movie is the ever enduring Carol.

“But sancho*, that was your recommendation last year too!”

Yes, I know. Don’t be such a bitch, will you? This year, Todd Haynes’ sapphic masterpiece celebrates its 10th anniversary. I’m calling it another one of Mommy Blanchett’s timeless performances, so watch it this year, watch it next year, and the year after that, because what is Christmas without a little sin? That’s what church is for. Make sure you go to church. Gentlemen, enjoy the film. Ladies, repent.

To my dear readers and everyone on Substack, have a Merry Christmas. And to my dearest Caroline, have a Merry Christmas Christmas. I… brought these flowers for you, too.

***THREE TRACK C-C-C-COMBO***

AND HAVE WE GOT A SPECIAL ONE FOR YOU TODAY. Surely we’re headed for the US. Surely. No? The UK? This is… England? What do you mean they’re English? Oxford? BLOODY OXFORD? HAVE THE NEDS TAKEN OVER? ARE THE POSHIES SKIPPING UNI? HAS HOT TOPIC LANDED ON THE HIGH STREET? Because I swear this could only be American, but according to my research South Arcade is 100% OXFORD. How did this happen? Keir Starmer and his Labour cronies of course. Oxford Uni is #4. Oxford kids are now POP PUNK. Someone tell the Tories. ORDER MUST BE RESTORED. Step aside Hayley Williams, hollaback Gwen Stefani, because HARMONY CAVELLE HAS ENTERED THE ARENA, DEMANDING THAT WE BRING BACK 2005. With a voice like that, I had to oblige (and she’s kinda cute hey Harmony wassup).

I’m unashamed to admit that I was in a Paramore cover band in my teens. Ladies, wait. Don’t go. Listen to me. This was when Paramore was hot shit. It’s not as lame as it sounds. It was actually quite cool. Puberty and Hayley Williams, you know. I’m sure you understand. I played Slipknot and Nine Inch Nails1 too, so it’s not all bad. It was whatever my hormones was feeling that week. Being a drummer in a band teaches you a great many things, many of which are immensely useful for life. If the drummer stops playing, the party ends. You learn to never stop playing, you learn resilience, you learn responsibility, you learn to be reliable, because if you’ve never played in a band with a wonky drummer, try it. I promise it will be the most awkward experience of your life, because the drums are also incredibly loud. So you learn to not suck, because if you do, the whole world knows. You don’t even have to be like Jonathan Barber. It helps, but it isn’t absolutely necessary. You just have to not suck. Because if you suck, it’s very loud. At the very least, you must keep time. The entire experience rests on you. No pressure.

Harmony, at least one of the boys is into you, if not all three. Don’t do it. Paramore was never the same again. And boys, don’t look at Harmony. Look into the crowd. Hang around the venue after the gig. Have a pack of ciggies ready. Be nonchalant. Don’t expect it. Let them come to you2. When they do, say “want a cigarette?” If they don’t, LAME avoid. If they do, say “I’ll give you a cigarette if you give me your number.” Call her on the spot. Tell her to pick up. If she does, say “wanna come back to mine?” From there, it’s all yours. You got this. I believe in you. 1, 2, 3, TEAM BOYS.

Ok folks. Get ready, our next stop is 2005.

***THREE TRACK HAIKU***

I wasn’t planning on back to back episodes, much less feature Caroline Polachek again so soon, but the girl literally pulled out her passport. What’s a man to do? Bring her back obvs. And bow. Respectfully.

Caroline Polachek’s collab streak continues, this time with Hideo Kojima on Death Stranding 2, featuring a star-studded cast including Elle Fanning, Lea Seydoux, and Norman Reedus. Elle Fanning doubles up on soundtrack duties, with an amazing collab with Woodkid. Someone put Elle Fanning in a musical.

Check out this GQ interview with the man behind it all. Take a moment to marvel at Japanese genetics: Hideo Kojima is in his 60s. He looks like the kid who skipped class to play video games. Plot twist ha ha.

Finally, better known as Blood Orange, or Lightspeed Champion to the loyal and true, Dev Hynes closes this ***THREE TRACK HAIKU*** with The Field feat. Caroline Polachek.

I… hope you like it, Caroline. I brought these flowers for you, too.

1. It is sancho*s one year anniversary.

2. It is also my birthday, which happens to be shared with the great Ricky Gervais, who I had the pleasure of shadowing on the set of After Life.

As you can see, that was exactly what went down, which wasn’t exactly what I was prepared for. I should have expected it, given how Ricky’s a funny man. But being the student that I was, I thought oh work has to be really fucking serious and all. I mean look at my face in that first picture. I swear I was just trying to get a good look at the monitor. This is what I said to the Bucks Free Press.

NFTS Directing Fiction student Shane Lim said: “It was really eye-opening to see how Ricky created an environment conducive for comedy, for example shooting on a multi-camera setup to allow the actors to improvise and for funny moments to unfold organically.

“The cast and crew were having plenty of laughs which encouraged the actors to play and that was when they were at their best. His ability to keep the set atmosphere light, playful but also focused was perhaps the biggest lesson for me.”

I actually wrote that. It reads like a proper quote, doesn’t it? Did I know that we shared birthdays when we met? No, I did not. I wonder how that would have changed things. We might have held hands a little longer, looked into each other’s eyes a little deeper. Maybe say, “soulmates 4eva?” Get married. Have kids. But then life would just be normal again. Or so I thought.

Shortly after finding out that Ricky and I shared birthdays, I decided to have a deeper look into the man. Not literally no stop it. His history. His biography. And that’s when I found this.

Did you know that Ricky Gervais was an actual pop star in the 80s? Did you? I bet you did not. Like an actual pop star. Not quite David Bowie, but almost. I’m not joking. Apparently they were big in Japan, so imagine my absolute joy when I discovered it was not at all a gimmick. Ricky Gervais is the real deal. This *THREE TRACK HAIKU* is dedicated to the man himself. Enjoy.

“三首歌 (san-shou-ge)”.

The funny thing about the Chinese language is that it is incredibly efficient, if not rather impenetrable, even for the Chinese. So, if you’ve considered picking up the language, stop. What’s wrong with you? Find another hobby, you silly goose. If you insist, allow me to demonstrate its complexities.

Depending on your intention, and how far along you are on the sancho* timeline, san-shou-ge could mean very different things. If you have just joined us, welcome to 三首歌 (san-shou-ge ~ three songs). However, if this isn’t your first rodeo with sancho*, then it would be good manners if you now address me as sancho-哥 (san-shou-ge ~ big brother sancho*). Or just daddy, if you prefer. You decide.

DDD: Director, DOP, Designer

One of our first assignments at the National Film and Television School was a collaboration between a director, a director of photography and a production designer. We were given a day to design a set, and another to shoot a film. based on an emotion. In my case, it was Fear. I devised a story about an office worker losing his mind, haunted by phantoms, which he eventually confronts and overcomes.

I had the opportunity to work with a professional actor, and applied the same concepts I used with non-actors, paying attention to efficiency and economy in mise-en-scene, cinematography, sound design, editing, and music.

The film begins with the back of a man seated within an office cubicle with a bandaged, bloodied head. I chose the 4:3 ratio to convey a sense of claustrophobia, of being closed in (17.1).

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Yes, the thesis is a lot to read. What? You think I just walked into uni and got my Master’s for nothing? No. I wrote a fucking dissertation. It was fucking painful. If you think it’s difficult to read, imagine writing the damn thing. AFTER making a movie. Fucking brutal I tell you. I was bleeding from my eyes. Here’s some music to help you along. Music always helps. I like this three-track-haiku thing. I think it’s a good idea. I’m gonna stick with it. If you make it to the end, then I’m guessing you like it. Or maybe, just baby, you like… me?

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Roche: One essential characteristic of your films is your rejection of the theatrical.

Bresson: The theatricality that I reject, or, rather, that I try to reject, because it’s not that easy, is expression by means of facial cues, gestures and vocal effects.

Roche: But you seem to be looking for some kind of anti-expression…

Chalais: You push it to extremes.

Roche: Not only do you not want acting, but you don’t even allow realism. It’s as if you make the actors blank, less expressive than in real life.

Bresson: I don’t think so. I try to draw them towards the automatism that occupies such a large part of our lives.

Chalais: But can you see how people might think you’re turning your back on what audiences want to see?

I. Bresson’s Legacy

Conducted shortly after the December 1959 premiere of Pickpocket, this interview sees film actress France Roche and film journalist François Chalais challenge Bresson about his filmmaking. It is a fitting introduction to this chapter for two reasons. Firstly, it provides insight into Bresson’s philosophy on directing, a fundamental rejection of “the terrible habit of theatre”. Bresson was of the idea that the theatre and cinema were separate mediums, each with their own unique language. He expands further in his seminal book, Notes on the Cinematograph.

‘The truth of cinematography cannot be the truth of theatre, not the truth of the novel, nor the truth of painting.’

But the interview is of interest to me particularly because of the confrontational manner and tone in which Roche and Chalais conducts it, which illustrates how Bresson’s approach to acting and performance provoked even the film literate then, despite—or perhaps precisely because of—his minimal and unimposing style.

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Not long ago, I wrote a little duet for Caroline Polachek, which some may call an Industrial Love Song. Caroline seems to be on a bit of a collaborative streak, having just released a new song, Tell me I never knew that, with the band caroline, who shares her lovely name. It’s a beautiful track, so much that I thought I’d softly launch my very own podcast, sancho*FM, with a little musical haiku1: three tracks, not quite seventeen syllables, but an anthem for a seventeen year old girl. I hope you like it, Caroline + caroline.

Pre-order the band’s new album, out 30 May.